Leeds wife tells abusive husband who tried to suffocate her that 'the worst thing is I still love you'

Paul Gummerson was jailed for four years for assault occasioning actual bodily harm and a further offence of controlling and coercive behaviour. He had also been charged with attempted murder initially but that charge was dropped when he admitted the other offences on the day his trial was due to start in October.

In a victim impact statement read out to Leeds Crown Court on Wednesday, his wife said it makes her "sick” that he would not take full responsibility for his actions and the entire experience had left her “broken”.

She said: “I’ve not been getting sleep for six months. Can’t function. Feel like I’m sick and forgetful and feel like I have lost our oldest son. It infuriates me that he hasn’t admitted any of the violence that he put me through.”

The woman said that “the thought of him being released terrifies me”, adding: “I feel ready to pack a bag. I don’t know where I’m going to run but I’m scared. He’s been controlling me for years and I stayed with him because I loved him and the worst thing is that I still do. I wish I could turn it off like a tap. I feel like my entire life has been stolen."

The court heard that Gummerson, 43, and his wife had known each other since they were teenagers and had two children together. The relationship was described by the wife to police as “one of extreme contrasts”.

Prosecuting, Matthew Allen Bean said that Gummerson was a “family man that cared for his children” but would also threaten and use violence towards his wife and accuse her of seeing other men.

His wife said that after Gummerson lost his grandfather in 2020, he began drinking more heavily and his behaviour worsened. He would slap and push his wife and tell her: “I’m your husband and you will do as I say.”

On one occasion in Castleford, his wife said that Gummerson “deliberately drove like a mad man” to try and scare her. Another time he drove to a lake and told his wife to get out of the car, leading her to run away “out of fear”.

The wife said that she tried to urge Gummerson to seek help as she was “frightened of his behaviour and afraid that he would kill her”.

Mr Bean told the court that on April 10 this year, the family went out for a meal with friends to a restaurant in Leeds and the waiter blew a kiss toward Gummerson’s wife. The next day Gummerson did not mention the incident.

Before going to bed on April 11, his wife messaged some of her friends, one of whom was a man she knew from her school days. She described being woken up at 5.30am the next morning and feeling a pillow being held against her face with “a lot of pressure” by Gummerson.

She said she could hear her husband making abusive comments. She began to “feel dizzy” and saw a “flash of light”. Gummerson then released the pillow and he seemed “full of aggression and ready to kill her”.

Gummerson put the pillow back over his wife’s face for a second time before releasing it. He said that he had seen a message sent by her male friend and called her names.

She denied seeing anyone else and the argument continued into the bathroom, where Gummerson grabbed her by the throat. He later said “if she tried to leave him he would slit her throat from ear to ear”.

The argument lasted up to 20 minutes and after he calmed down, Gummerson went to work as normal. His wife told the police about what had happened.

After being arrested for attempted murder, Gummerson denied the charges. He said that he had confronted his wife about the messages but that it was she who had attacked him.

In mitigation, Stephen Grattage told the court that Gummerson is “a man struggling emotionally”. He said that he was “sorry for his actions” towards his whole family, though he knew “he doesn’t have anyone else to blame”.

A number of character references in Gummerson’s favour were presented to the court. Mr Grattage also said that a report had found that Gummerson was at a low risk of reoffending, but Judge Bayliss KC disagreed.

Passing sentence, the judge told Gummerson that his wife had delivered “the most moving victim impact statement today”. He said: “What was most touching about that was that she still loves you and that is the tragedy of all of this.”

He said that Gummerson’s relationship with his wife had been “one of extreme control”, saying: “You were jealous, you were controlling and you regularly used and threatened violence against the woman that loved and still loves you. You would tell her ‘I'm your husband and you will do as I say'. No man has the right to say that to his wife. No man has the right to demean his wife that way.”

He added that no-one who had witnessed her statement could fail to understand the "trauma and psychological scarring" she has endured, saying: "She’s a broken woman.”

Gummerson was given a four year sentence for each of the two charges, with the time to be served concurrently. He will serve 32 months before being considered to be released on license. He was also issued with an indefinite restraining order banning him from contacting his wife by any means.